I used to feel human, but now I’m just a ghost… Song 88

Depression and anxiety can be pretty insidious. It can sneak up on you without warning. My mood can plummet quickly for no reason other than it being cloudy. It can rebound just as fast. It’s really uncomfortable to deal with on a daily basis. Then comes the anxiety, wondering when I’ll go back into the downswing. Feeling agitated with every passing car that honks their horn for no reason. The sound of doors closing with no accompanying person to explain it. Fluctuating between content, irritated, hopeless and happy, all several times a day. It can be extremely mentally exhausting. Then comes the numbness. When it gets too overwhelming to process, I just shut down. Brain cooked. Then the sun comes out and I don’t feel so bad. But the sun sets of course, and tomorrow the cycle starts all over. At least I can laugh. I can still create. And sometimes I feel rewarded. So, onward I go. Maybe I should get out more…

Song 88: “Human”

I start to believe in the mystery
But then I live only in my dreams

I used to feel human, but now I’m just a ghost
I feel numb to the world

I can slip so easily into this sadness
A madness masked with a smile

I used to feel human, but now I’m just a ghost
I feel numb to the world

I feel it creeping quietly, closing in on me
The haze may swallow me whole

I used to feel human, but now I’m just a ghost
I feel numb to the world

credits

from March 2016, track released March 28, 2016
Written, recorded and performed by Matthew Sams
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Author: matthewsams

Matt Sams is an American singer/songwriter/guitarist from the Chicago area. He has been playing music since childhood and is now in the process of writing, recording and releasing a new song every day of 2014. Keep up to date on the progress by following Matt on Twitter @Somnistatic

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