I’m trying hard to do what I can… Song 113

I’m in a weird mood today. I’m trying to stay upbeat and positive. Today is the first anniversary of my father’s death. I never had a good relationship with my father. My parents split up when I was pretty young. I never really made that lasting connection with him. I felt that bond, but I shut out everything that was connected to it. My teenage and young adult years were very tumultuous. I had a lot of emotional stress and acted out in ways that I probably shouldn’t have. I was always a rebel. I never did what was expected of me. I felt alone. I felt like an outsider. I still do to a certain extent. But rather than being an outcast, I’m just a hermit. I was never able to do what I was supposed to do. But, in the end, he knew that I loved him and I know that he loved me. There’s a peace to be had in that knowledge.

Song 113: “A Good Son”

I never was there for you, I know deep down I wanted to
But the pain kept me away, I didn’t know what to say

I don’t know what it’s like, I always wanted to be
But I don’t know what it means, to be a good son

You were never here for me, but I know you wanted to be
I put up too many walls, I know it wasn’t your fault

I don’t know what it’s like, I always wanted to be
But I don’t know what it means, to be a good son

I’m trying hard to do what I can
To be someone you can be proud of

I don’t know what it’s like, I always wanted to be
But I don’t know what it means, to be a good son

credits

from April 2016, track released April 22, 2016
Written, recorded and performed by Matthew Sams
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Author: matthewsams

Matt Sams is an American singer/songwriter/guitarist from the Chicago area. He has been playing music since childhood and is now in the process of writing, recording and releasing a new song every day of 2014. Keep up to date on the progress by following Matt on Twitter @Somnistatic

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